Dean Rahaman
Personal Health Consultant
Men’s Physique Coaching

Men’s Mental Health 

Men’s Hormone Optimsation

I’ve been looking forward to writing this blog for some time and looking forward to sharing a few ideas with you all. Some of these ideas are cover things like what is a belief and where does it come from? Are you still aiming for the same goals as you did when you were a teenager? What are your values now compared to 10 years ago? Do you even have a set of values or a mission statement?

These are some of the things that we’ll go over as well as exploring various concepts in psychology and success habits. I want to take you through the method I use for myself to write my personal and professional mission statement. As well as what values are, how to set them and more importantly to live by them.

These are incredibly powerful things, they can be so deep rooted that people will be more than willing to execute extreme action to fulfil them. To define a belief a quick google search gives us these two definitions.

  1. “An acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof.” His belief in extra-terrestrial life”
  2. “Trust, faith, or confidence in (someone or something).” “A belief in democratic politics”

What I know about beliefs is that they can start at a super young age. As far as I know Beliefs are generally formed in two ways: by our experiences, inferences and deductions, or by accepting what others tell us to be true. Most of our core beliefs are formed when we are children. When we are born, we enter this world with a clean slate and without preconceived beliefs. It seems to make sense in my mind that the majority of our beliefs start as kids. As a child you’re completely dependent on your parents or carers for food, affection and acceptance. Therefore as a child you will adopt the values and beliefs of your parents. This will mean that you will be accepted by them and this will ensure your survival. It’s at this early stage of development that I believe your beliefs start. It’s only when you start to experience life and you make your own way that some of these beliefs begin to change.

I say some of these beliefs because the subconscious and the chimp brain are super strong! We’ll get into this a bit later when it comes to money and other people’s programming.

Setting a plan with deadlines is the best route to success

Forming A Belief

These are incredibly powerful things, they can be so deep rooted that people will be more than willing to execute extreme action to fulfil them. To define a belief a quick google search gives us these two definitions.

  1. “An acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof.” His belief in extra-terrestrial life”
  2. “Trust, faith, or confidence in (someone or something).” “A belief in democratic politics”

What I know about beliefs is that they can start at a super young age. As far as I know Beliefs are generally formed in two ways: by our experiences, inferences and deductions, or by accepting what others tell us to be true. Most of our core beliefs are formed when we are children. When we are born, we enter this world with a clean slate and without preconceived beliefs. It seems to make sense in my mind that the majority of our beliefs start as kids. As a child you’re completely dependent on your parents or carers for food, affection and acceptance. Therefore as a child you will adopt the values and beliefs of your parents. This will mean that you will be accepted by them and this will ensure your survival. It’s at this early stage of development that I believe your beliefs start. It’s only when you start to experience life and you make your own way that some of these beliefs begin to change.

I say some of these beliefs because the subconscious and the chimp brain are super strong! We’ll get into this a bit later when it comes to money and other people’s programming.

“As an adult, the interaction between you and your environment is what starts to change your beliefs. As a child you learn beliefs from loved ones around you.”

Dean Rahaman

An over simplified version of the brain. 

The brain is a smart piece of hardware for your body.  If you think of it as three parts, the human brain, the chimp brain and the computer. The human brain is the logical, rational problem solving part of the brain. The chimp is the primal emotional driver of the brain. The chimp brain loves routine, familiarity and is very territorial and much stronger than the human brain. The computer is the subconscious part of your brain. It works like an information bank and stores things that you can’t even consciously remember. When you’re faced with a situational dilemma both your human and chimp brain reach into the computer at the same time.

The goal is to find what response is good to deal with the current situation. Based on past experiences and how you believe you need to behave in order to either. A, get what you want at the risk of upsetting others. B, please the others involved in the situation and neglect your own needs. Or C, try and find a balance of both and keep all parties interested and happy.

Depending on how you were brought up, depending on your own belief system and how much you want to please others. That is what will dictate your decision. The chimp part of your brain loves familiarity and patterns of repeated behaviour. With it being 8-10 times stronger than your human brain. When situations get emotional, 9 times out of 10, your chimp will win with reaching into the computer and pulling out a way to behave. Remember that the subconscious brain is where your beliefs get deep rooted and validated. If the chimp is getting in there before you, you’re going to find it hard to change behaviour patterns.

This is a concept explored in a lot of detail in a great book by Professor Steven Peters called the chimp paradox. When I read that book it was like my he was reading out my entire childhood and adolescent years.

Why Am I bringing up all this chimp brained stuff? Because the beliefs and behaviour patterns we learn and adopt as children pave the way for our adult beliefs. That is until we have the experiences that change our perspective and challenge and change our belief systems.

Goals

The V2MOM method is something I picked up from Tony Robbins. It stands for Vision, Values, Method, Obstacles and Measurement and it works like this and please answer these for yourselves now.

What’s your vision of perfection for your life? For your Work? For your finances? For time with your family? And finally your vision for giving back? But it has to be your perfect vision, literally no limits thinking.

Once you have your visions, draw them, find images of that on the net and write them down. Do it now.

Next thing to think about is the value you put on each of your visions. What will it mean to you to live that version of perfection in your life? Write it down now.

Next it what methods will you need to use in order to live out your vision of perfection. Will you hire a coach, a business coach, a personal trainer, a dietician or any other professional to help you? Will you head onto dating sites or commit to meeting a potential partner the old fashioned way? Will you find and use free resources on the internet? What practical methods and means are you going to use in order to achieve your vision of perfection?

What obstacles might potentially stop you from achieving your goal? This is important to be honest with yourself. If your subconscious is telling that you can’t do something, or that you’re not good enough or that others will judge you. Is that really your belief system or are you believing somebody else’s? If it’s a financial barrier to hiring a coach, what free resources are available to you? Who can model that’s already achieved what you want to?

Finally what are you going to use a measure of your progress? Is it money in the bank? Is it a second or third passive income? Is it free time to spend with your family or volunteering? Giving your time and expertise away for free to young people who can’t afford a coach? Is it going to be that you finally fit into a 32 inch waist size pair of jeans and feel comfortable? Will you have a sense of pride and confidence that you’ve lost weight and gained muscle?

Whatever method you use to record your progress, make sure you do it consistently!

 

Both these methods of goal setting are incredible by themselves. When you combine the two, wow! It’s seriously powerful, attaching value to your goals is one of the most eye and mind opening experiences I’ve ever had. It’s made my goal setting much more purposeful and intense which I love. The same way I prefer to train rather than exercise. There is a difference.

There are two ways that I love to set goals with my clients. The first is that standard SMART method. If you’ve never come across this before. SMART stands for Specific, Measured, Agreed/Achievable, Recorded and Time lined. This a great way to set goals to make them quantifiable and tangible for my clients. Let me give you an example.

Hundreds of people over the years have said to me that one of their goals is to lose weight. This is a great goal but doesn’t really give me any information. My next question is always “how much weight do you want to lose?” After that I normally get given a target weight or a specific amount they want to lose.

My next question is always “do you know how much you weigh right now?” With that we proceed to take some starting point measurements and have a bench mark in place. These questions for me take care of the S and the M. Agreed or achievable is where I tell my clients what the body is happy with when it comes to weight loss or muscle gain. Here is where we go about reverse engineering their goal into their timeline. Once I know when a client wants or needs to achieve their goal by, that’s when I can start the programming process. Once I’ve shown the path to their goal we can then agree on what actions are going to be the most optimal and practical for them to implement. That’s my approach with the SMART method of goal setting for men. The other method I love to use is as follows.

What’s Your Mission? 

A Mission with purpose, Get To The Moon.
JFK owned this mission and had a national buy in.
I love setting these up for my clients and for myself. A mission statement is simple 2-3 sentences about what you intend to do and why you intend to do it. I like to have a personal and a business or work based mission statement and here they are respectively.

“I will always be a good guy and not a nice guy doormat. I will always seek to understand before judging another and tell the truth while respecting the feelings of others. I will always look after my own needs and make sure I fulfil my own desires.” My business mission statement is as follows,

“To be a leader with integrity and live true to the values of my work. I want to be a shining example to others to provide value and have profit be the applause for a job well done. I will live with both financial and time freedom to be able to spend that time on what’s important.”

A mission statement will help you identify why you’re doing what you’re doing. It’ll give you clarity in how you conduct yourself every day. Once you have this clarity it’ll make you a much more productive man. Once you become more productive, it’ll give you a lot more confidence and with that confidence you’ll be feeding success in a positive cycle. Confidence and success will both feed each other and you’ll be loving life! I know that I was after getting my mission statements set.

The Power Of Values

Values are something that I’ve found to be incredibly important in both my personal and professional life. For my personal life they’ve helped me find my purpose and confidence again. My professional values have massively helped me when it came into help me manage myself and others.

What I love about values is once you have them prioritised it’ll give you a great guide for how to behave.

I found it hard to set my values initially, then somebody gave me a great piece of advice for how to set your values. It went like this. “How would you want somebody to act if they worked for and represented you?” That question made setting my values easy.

Let me know what your mission statement and values are.

Summing It Up

Beliefs are deep rooted in your subconscious brain. Quite often your beliefs are beliefs from parents or loved ones that you’ve inherited. Until you have life experience it’s not often that your beliefs will change. So get out there live some life and gain some new beliefs. 

Goals are important to Values are something that I’ve found to be incredibly important in both my personal and professional life. For my personal life they’ve helped me find my purpose and confidence again. My professional values have massively helped me when it came into help me manage myself and others.

What I love about values is once you have them prioritised it’ll give you a great guide for how to behave.

I found it hard to set my values initially, then somebody gave me a great piece of advice for how to set your values. It went like this. “How would you want somebody to act if they worked for and represented you?” That question made setting my values easy.

Let me know what your mission statement and values are.

have and using both the SMART and V2MOM method of goal setting together are incredibly powerful. Writing down goals and making sure you know exactly what they are will give you clear path of action. 

A mission statement and both personal and professional values will give you a natural code of conduct. That code of conduct will give you a set of ethics and integrity. That integrity is a great sense of confidence in yourself. Once you have that, others will gravitate to you and see you as a natural leader. 

As always guys, I you have any questions fire them over. I’d love to hear your own mission statements and values.

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