What is spiritualism? Should we be into it? Why are women into it? Why are some of good at certain things by nature? Do we get reincarnated? Do we have a true soul mate? What happens after we die? Is there a god or divine being? Why do we attract certain types of people for relationships? Why do we end up in similar jobs after we make a change? How do we find pure happiness?

These are all questions that I’ve had myself and only some of which I’m actively seeking answers for. I’ll tell you why it’s taken me this long to actually start looking into this. But first I’ll give you a little background.

The Start Of A Long Road

I loved performing when I was little, I loved singing and dancing around the house, being in school plays and having the attention. When I was 8 I would have full blown grown level conversations with fully grown adults. On my school reports it would say Dean is 8 going 80, he’s got a wise head on his shoulder beyond his years. The reason I mention the performing and loving being on stage etc. Is because it got shut down with one fleeting comment from my dad. He didn’t mean it to be malicious, but as a child that really looked up to his dad and always sought approval. This comment crushed a whole side of my personality.

Allow me to set the scene. Little 5 year old me goes into the kitchen at home because I heard an Elvis song on the radio. I’d been playing my little guitar and was pretending to be Elvis Presley in my bedroom. I start singing a song that I’d been practicing in the kitchen where my mum, Nan and dad were doing something, talking or cooking whatever. The song I had been practicing was different to the song on the stereo. My dad comments “Why’s he singing that one? That’s the wrong one.” Just like that I didn’t want to sing or play guitar any more. Let me explain why.

Why This Is Crucial

Young boys are very much influenced by and want to win the approval and affection of their dads. To a young child, male or female, parental acceptance and love is the most important thing in the world. It’s a hard wired behaviour pattern that goes back to us as cavepeople. If we didn’t have the affection of the elders, we didn’t eat. Also in Dr Robert Sapolski’s book “Why Zebra’s don’t get ulcers” he explains the relationship between touch and affect and a child’s growth rate. The more love and physical contact received by a child from a parent or loved one, generally speaking the taller they grew. From an evolutionary standpoint, the bigger and taller you are, the more likely you are to be the alpha protecting, hunting and gathering for your tribe.

Therefore, by putting 2 and 2 together, a child is hardwired to want affection, touch, acceptance and food from parents. Fast forward to the year 1989 when my dad made his comment. And just like that my evolutionary brain kicked in and said. “If you want approval and acceptance from dad. You shouldn’t make mistakes and you shouldn’t be singing or dancing” Just like that, in the 2 seconds it took to make that statement my whole life took a different direction.

The Link To Spiritualism

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with the questions and the 8 going on 80 comment. The reason I tell the back story is because I believe that we are all souls that have been on earth before. This is why some people have natural gifts and talents, just look back through sporting stars. Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Joe Frazier, Diego Maradona, Pele, (CR7) Ronaldo, Beckham, Ronnie O’sullivan, Tiger woods Lewis Hamilton. The list goes on for sporting greats, but how many times have you heard the phrase, “god given talent”?

It’s taken me a long time to open up to the idea of spirituality purely because I was always scared of what it might reveal and I didn’t want to get haunted by anything haha. It turns out that after doing some research and finding out about what spirituality actually involves. I feel much better equipped to open up and let go of that past experience. As well as other past experiences that have led me to where I am right. Let me cover some of the basics that I’ve learned and then explain how understanding these principles has helped me move forward.

  1. We are mostly all souls that have been on earth before in some way, shape or form. New sous to this earth, tend not to like it and want to leave not long after they realise what humans have created.
  2. Your soul and you as a person have at least one guide to help you. When you get that gut feeling for something, or your intuition says you should or should not do something. That’s your spirit guide talking. The problem is as modern human, we’re told to ignore these voice, we’ve been told only mental people hear voices in their heads… Were they mental or just enlightened?
  3. Karma is real shit and you need to let it go or redeem things that you know are not right in your life. My test of this, would you let a random or family member or friend go through your phone unrestricted without fear? I know that I wouldn’t have done a little while ago.
  4. Your soul genuinely does have a purpose and a mission, before you were you were born your soul decided a few things that it wanted to get tested on. Or what it wanted to enjoy. Before you’re born, your soul already knows how it wants to die. It might be that it wants to try death in a way that it’s not done before. Or it has a favourite way to go. Either way, your soul has already chosen when to leave and it’s almost like a contract. Like they say in the mummy, “death, is only the beginning”.
  5. Love and happiness are the strongest forces in the universe, apart from gravity… I do still like my actual physics and not just the metaphysics of spiritualism. Once you start to realise that everything is love and light it changes your perception of things. It has mine.

My Paradigm Shift

Remember that scene in the matrix where Neo heads back to the machine city and all he sees is light everywhere. This is what’s reported in Dolores Cannon’s book the convoluted universe. That’s the book I’ve got most of my information from. That book has completely changed my perceptions of people, their behaviour and also the events that go on around us. When you can approach any situation with an open mind and an open heart it’ll change how you respond to stimuli around you.

There are spirtual coaches that i follow who call this “the awakening” Once I put the spiritual information together with the information that I study about the human body. All of a sudden the dots connected! I now understand why people are scared to take the steps they need. Dont get me wrong I still need a lot of coaching and subconscious training to do what I need to do. But the way my brain is programmed I like to know the intellectuals before I put faith in something. Which sounds very contradictory to what this post is about in terms of letting go. But this is how I deal with the fear.

You are light and you are surrounded by light and energy. Tune into this and all of sudden there is a shift in your own energy. You will attract what you want.

A New Approach.

It’s been said many times that honesty is the best policy. When you combine honesty with love and an open mind, amazing things will start happening to you. I’ve started embracing a lot of emotions lately. Back when I was younger tales of ghosts and demons and evil spirits petrified me. I didn’t want to open to the possibility of good spirits, or spirit guides. Letting go of that fear has genuinely opened me up to more emotions and as such my guided meditations that I follow have been much, much more intense. The ability to shut off your conscious brain and be fully in your subconscious is a very difficult skill to learn. But it’s one that I’m persisting with. I’m on a mission now to meet my spirit guides and surrender myself to their wisdom.

I’ll tell you now though, coming from the house I was raised in, letting go of control is not an easy thing to do. In my house, vulnerability wasn’t something that was really talked about. It wasn’t frowned upon, but it was never embraced either. Nor was getting things wrong, you always checked and double checked and didn’t really take a gamble on anything.

I’ve always been what’s known as an old soul and also very empathetic. I’ve always been a protector and able to pick up on other people’s emotional state with ease. This has made my career as a PT, manager and almost like a counsellor much easier to transition through and go from strength to strength.

Being happier, feeling free and just living in the moment, I noticed that my weight was always consistent. I attracted other good and happy people into my life, financially I was stable and generally living a good life.

Looking To The Future

This is how I want to approach all my future meetings with people. I’m slowly in the phase of cutting negative people out of my life. It’s not easy when some of them are your family, but I limit my time with them and set expectations that I don’t want to hear any moaning.  If they start the moaning process I either leave the room or just say straight up that I don’t want to hear it. It’s so important that you have a shield against people’s negativity. Kevin Hart calls it his force field of positivity, T. Harv Ecker bestselling author of Secrets of the millionaire mind calls it his steel umbrella of positivity. Purely because he doesn’t want people’s negativity to rain down on him.

This approach is not easy because you will need to take a good long hard look at the people in your circle. Then decide if they’re enhancing your life or not, if they’re not and they’re making you resentful it might be time to have some conversations. This is exactly what I’ve had to do and it’s been brutally hard!

Masculinity And Spiritualism

As far as I’m concerned I’ve become a better man and a better person embracing spirituality. I’ve been much more honest with people, I’ve been much more open and actually shown vulnerability. Since doing this I’ve had more people open up to me. I’ve so many offers of support from my peers that get it. I’ve changed certain things in my social circle and feel now like my life is headed back into the right direction. I want to help people, I love helping people and seeing them develop, I love to coach people and impart knowledge onto people. By seeking careers in what makes me happy to my core I’ve raised my vibration and changed my energy output. Trust me people can feel when you’re operating on higher levels.

Being a good man I feel starts with yourself and starts doing what’s right, not just knowing what’s right. I’ve stopped watching porn, I’ve stopped wanking unless I really feel the urge and even then it’s all done from fantasy. Check out my blog about erectile dysfunction where I highlight the difference between an orgasm through porn and visual stimulus and through fantasy. A world of difference I can assure. I’ve been shooting bigger loads, they’ve been flying out like porn stars since I’ve laid off the porn and actually used my imagination.

I know that clearing out and letting go of my bad karma. Starting to do the right things for the right reason, has definitely made me happier. Depending on what drives you either money, service to god, volunteering, coaching or teaching. Whatever you do that means you’re not serving yourself means that people will pick up on your genuine good energy and want to work with you. Obviously you charge for your services but ultimately as Ken Blanchard once said. “Profit is the praise you get for serving your customers and serving them well.”

Summing It up

To sum this up, I’m still learning about a lot of this spiritualism. How to harness male and female energy for the benefit of myself and to others.

Stop doing what you know is inherently wrong, whether its porn, secret gambling, cheating, stealing or whatever. Stop it, once you stop it and start being honest and open. You’ll be amazed how things can change.

Educate yourself about spiritualism, you don’t need to go balls deep and doing cacao ceremonies, and visiting sacred sites unless you really want to. But start understanding this might not be the 1st time you’ve been on earth. There is a reason you have the talents that you have, your soul might have been practicing them for a few lifetimes. Personally I’d recommend you get hold of ‘the convoluted universe’ it’ll blow your mind! Follow people like consciously_commit or Elizabeth April or Jay Campbell on social media outlets. T. Harv eckers book I mentioned earlier is a great read if you want to start changing how you manage your money.

Let go of past trauma, this will be very emotional, but a massive relief at the same time.

A lot of this you can’t do alone, you need a very good friend or a very good therapist or spiritual advisor to help you.

Any questions about any of what I went through please get in contact and we’ll see what I can help you with.

Thanks for making it this far.