I discovered this model for the learning journey a long time ago and I’ve not shared it yet, but I am now because I’ve noticed a trend. That trend tends to be that people want knowledge or money or results and they want it now. They’re not willing to go through the learning process to become a master of what they do. I’ve noticed this trait in a lot of my clients over the years, both male and female. I believe this trend is becoming more and more common because our ease of access to information. We can type a question into google and get the answer as good as immediately. We’re not willing to take the time to learn all the nuances that go with getting hands on to learn a skill. Of course I’m generalising here, but this is a trend I am noticing.

The Stages Of Learning Model

  1. Unconscious incompetence. This means that you don’t even know you can’t do something. With relation to my fitness background, I see this mostly when I ask people to touch their toes. The main instruction they receive is to keep their knees as straight as possible, relax into the stretch and aim to touch your toes. A lot of people when they do this for the first time don’t even know that they can’t touch their toes. Hence they are in a state of unconscious incompetence.
  2. Conscious incompetence. Now people know they can’t touch their toes. They are well aware of the fact there is a lack of physical skill (tight hamstrings or lower back) that is preventing them from completing the task.
  3. Conscious competence is the stage where after time you can accomplish what you want but you need to concentrate to get it done. Using the example that I’ve detailed, people will be able to bend over and touch their toes. But they will have to really concentrate on their breathing, keeping the straightness in their legs. But they will be able to get their hands onto their toes. This phase takes time, it won’t happen in a couple of weeks.
  4. Unconscious competence is the stage where we all want to get to when it comes to learning a new skill. When it comes to my example, this will look like a person not even having to think about their breathing or keeping tension in their knees. They can just straight up lean over and touch their toes. Thinking of a more practical example, let’s say driving a car. Unconscious competence while driving is being able to control the car, change gears, turn corners without even thinking about it. Remember back to your first driving lesson, it was all about learning the bite point. The thought of combining multiple skills would be the furthest thing from yours or the instructors mind.

As you can see a learning journey is not as simple as just practice a new skill. To execute a skill you need to practice perfect. Practice will make permanent, not perfect, so make sure you’re practicing perfectly. My best adivce is hire a coach.

The Learning Journey

I know first-hand after watching hundreds if not thousands of PT sessions over the years as well as delivering my own. That not enough people are aware of this learning journey process. People are calling themselves coaches or leaders or trainers and they don’t know how people learn skills. They don’t know how to spot if a client needs supporting or directing. They don’t understand that people need to go through a specific learning process. There is also potential psychological issues that the coach will have to deal with as well. One thing that I’ve noticed over the years is people having a fear of success more so than a fear of failure.

The reason I think people have a fear of success is due to power they put in other people’s opinion. The view, value and perception of other people has a powerful impact into the subconscious brain. The subconscious brain will take an opinion of someone you hold in high esteem and make it a fact. Your subconscious brain will take an opinion of somebody else and turn into a belief in your own brain. Once something becomes into a belief in your own mind, it becomes a very strong entity!

Let’s look at the opinion “There’s not enough money” “we can’t afford it” “The rich get richer and there’s nothing left for us” “We can’t do that, we can’t afford it” “They’re all rich arseholes”. These are only opinion of people but if you hear these a lot as a kid from parents or loved ones. Your subconscious will pick up these phrases and think they’re real fact. Now that real fact gets into your head, now you have a belief that there isn’t enough money. As such your brain creates the reality that there isn’t enough. And then your reality confirms your belief and boom, you’ve created your own negative feedback loop. Where negative beliefs feed negative activity and negative activity reaffirms negative beliefs.

It’s All In the Communication

When I embarked on my own learning journey, when I did my teaching qualification. I was soon made are of being able to communicate across all styles. Being able to include everybody by the lesson by using visual, auditory and feeling based language. I used and still use individual learning plans to know what people’s learning needs are. I then tailor my lessons and individual support for each learner.  What I see a lot of coaches of PT’s getting wrong is using a template style of training. Not every approach is going to work with every person. There has to be personalisation, can people get results from cookie cutter style programs? Yes they can, will 100% of people that start the program stick with it or actually get results? Probably not.

This is the issue a lot of men are facing now. We need to relearn how to be men, how to not be afraid of telling people what they need to hear. Rather than being worried about offending somebody. I’m not saying this gives you the right to be a prick, because that’s far from the point. What we’re lacking is really good forward thinking progressive men to be coaches for us. This is what I’m aiming to do for my clients now. Be that resource to help men learn how to have awkward conversations. Be the coach that tells them what women want in the sack and how to go about the dating game with class and integrity.

I want you guys to learn how to embrace your feelings, how to accept them and not be ashamed if you do fancy a cry. It’s perfectly natural and part of being human and having emotions.

A Quality Coach Is Worth The Investment

Men need a coach, I need a coach, I love having a coach and someone to keep me accountable and on track. That’s in regard to my business and getting shit done there. But I’m also finding that I’m needing coaching as a man. To develop confidence in myself to say to people, I’m not happy with that. It doesn’t benefit me and it’s not fair. My fear comes from always wanting to avoid conflict and potential fights when I was a kid. I’m very much a lover and not a fighter but as a result it means I’ve let people walk over me in the past. Finding the courage to say that’s not right is hard, I can do it professionally, that’s easy because you’re in a roll. Doing it if for yourself when there is no role, there is only you. That’s the art of being a man I think.

This is why your teacher is key. Sometimes our parents are not the best teachers, I love my parents dearly I really do. But sometimes I find it very difficult to talk to them because they’re closed minded to a lot things. And they’re stuck in their own belief systems. Whereas I’m doing everything I can to change mine and the shift and feeling of inner confidence is incredibly when you shed the fear.

Find a mentor or coach who has already done what you’re aiming for. Drop them a message! You’d be amazed how friendly these people in the public eye actually are. Or if they’re like an Instagram celebrity to you, you’d be amazed how open they are to the idea of being a mentor for you.

Summit It All Up

You need a coach or mentor to help you realise what stage if learning we’re at. As blokes the chances are that we’re at the conscious incompetence stage. We know what we want to do, we just don’t know how to do it.

You’ve got to embrace the journey of learning. Nothing is going to happen overnight, it will take time so enjoy the process. Like Both Kevin Hart and Lionel Messi have said. “It took me over 17 years to become and overnight success.”

Guys, please get in touch and have a read of my other blogs because they will genuinely help you. Whether it’s about weight loss, muscle gain, mentality, hormones or sex drive. I’m covering it all and doing everything I can to shed the stigma.