The last post about insulin was quite science based and this I want to be a little lighter. What are your hobbies? But more importantly how often are you engaging in them? How often are you giving yourself some alone time to do what you want?

I didn’t realise the importance or significance of hobbies. Not till I realised I wasn’t engaging with anything that I actually enjoyed. Growing up I was involved with football at least twice a week. I played cricket almost every weekend during the summer and would always see my pals at the weekend too. Obviously things change as you enter relationships and you make compensations for your partner. Unless of course they’re bang into coming to watch you every week.

Hobbies

A quick google search will tell you that a hobby is “an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure”. For me I love my camera, I invested in a seriously good one. Did a few photography and photoshop courses. Now I make sure that I get out at least once a week shooting. I used to play football weekly, I am looking to start this up again in a veterans (over 35) league somewhere. Also get back to playing golf at least once a week even if it’s only the range. I’m making a commitment to myself to start doing more of what I want and gain some of my identity back.

I lost my way a little and let work and relationships get on top of me. I didn’t make time for myself and the needs of others before the needs of myself. Slowly but surely I was slipping into depression and resentment about what my life was becoming. I had to change it, the universe gave me kick in the right direction via circumstances I didn’t predict. But it happened and I’m grateful for it.

I ask you, what are your hobbies? Maybe physically you cannot take part in the sports you used to, but what do you like to do? And more importantly what do you make the time to do? I know first-hand how awkward it can make things if your partner at home is getting the arse because you’re always out doing what you want to do. But this is where compromise comes into play. See my blog about how to have awkward conversations to see how you can start the process of changing what may have become a new norm for you.

For me I like to class a hobby as. “Something that you will purposefully set aside time and money to engage in, purely for the pleasure and not just the reward.” Hobbies should be a time to engage and keep the bonds with your mates. Or give you some headspace to be alone do what you like doing. And that doesn’t include watching porn and wanking.

HeadSpace, Learn To Love It!

This is so important for me, particularly if you have empathetic talents. An empath is a person who will pick up on the feelings and emotions of others. They can be close friends, or they can be total strangers, but when you meet people if you ever get a gage on how they’re really feeling deep down. Not just what they’re trying to portray to the world. You’re an empath my friend, it’s a blessing and a curse all at once.

When you’re so in tune and able to pick up on other people’s feeling and energies. It’s important that you give yourself down time and alone time to recharge and look after yourself. I’d suggest you follow @JayCampbell, @consciously_commit, @empaths_survival on Instagram for tips about how to deal with self-care.

A lot of what Ive learned is that the empath needs time away from people and the busyness of life. They need time in nature with the wind blowing through leaves, or need to be near the sea and in the waves or just near nature based water. The leaves and the waves act like white noise and help to block out the modern world and help you tune back into yourself. I’m finding this solace by heading down to the sea and actually braving it and going in. I’ve actually felt so clean after being in there, it’s almost like nature has sorted you out. And that’s something that we’re losing as modern men, our connection to nature.

The Power Of Nature

I’m doing my best to avoid referencing scientific literature here. So if you want to go and fact check some of my theories here, you’re more than welcome. Just promise that you’ll let me know how you get on.

My theories are based on the following

  • Books I’ve listened to and read
  • Documentaries
  • Observations
  • And listening to people a lot smarter than me talking
  • Some scientific research…

My first theory about the power of nature, everything is connected, food chains, food webs, life and death. It all feeds each other, it can be brutal and savage, but it’s all kept in balance. Then we as humans have come along and fucked it up to a massive degree! Humans are knocking out the balance of the rainforests, fucking up the oceans with chemicals and plastics. We’re messing with the natural order and balance of things. We as humans are losing our connection to nature, this is why we crave beach, holidays. Searching for a connecting we want scenery, greenery or fresh white snow and clear skies to ski. We work 48 weeks out of 52 so that we can go back to nature for 4 weeks of the year… Is it really enough?

I believe also that nature we’re over half way to losing our privacy and independence free human spirits. We’ve been sold the Hollywood dream of capitalism, fame, money, cars things and it doesn’t matter what the cost. You’ve only go to hear what Steve Jobs said on his death bed to realise none of that really matters.

“God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth. The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me. What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love. That’s the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on. Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands. What is the most expensive bed in the world? Sick bed …

You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you. Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost — Life. When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading — Book of Healthy Life. Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down. Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends.

Treat yourself well. Cherish others.”

I know there is some speculation as to whether all of this was actually said by him. Even if it wasn’t the sentiment is incredibly true and incredibly profound. We’re slowly losing touch with our human spirit and this is why we crave going to back to nature or being near to nature on our holidays.

Learning To Reconnect

This is something I can’t give you the answer to because I’m still working it out for myself. This is why I follow a lot of people who guide spiritual healing, letting go of trauma and getting your conscious brain to actually shut up for a bit. The issue I have when I try and do the meditation is that I’m too consciously active. I struggle to get into the visualisations of a guided meditation, but that’s OK. I know that my spirit guides are looking after me. My mission now is to learn how to quieten down the intellectual, part of the brain that loves reasoning and analysing things. This is why I’m seriously looking into finding a shaman or ancient medicine practitioner who knows how to work with psychedelics. There is a reason that the Native Americans passed around the peace pipe and got people into trances. It’s to allow their subconscious to not be confined by the logical part of the brain that thinks fears are real.

There’s been a lot of talk about DMT, marijuana and mushrooms recently, Joe Rogan on his podcast has been talking about. Russel Brand on his podcast has been talking about it. There are hundreds of YouTube videos about how psychedelics open your mind up. But all these things should be taken under the supervision of a person or people that you trust! Be super vigilant if you’re going to do it, do a lot of research and talk to people that are going to take you through your journey.

I think that reconnecting to nature and yourself is a powerful tool that should be in all men’s toolboxes. The reconnecting is all about listening to your true self, listening to your instincts. If you feel the need to go swimming in the sea, go to the sea. If you need to go to the woods and be with the trees and leaves go there. If you feel the urge and the need to go hit something and let stress out, find a boxing club and smack a bag.

Reconnecting is all about not denying your instincts, allowing yourself to listen to your gut feelings.

Summing It Up

Your whole existence is a lot more than just work, sleep, eat and repeat. There should be so much more to life and it starts with being brave as a man to say to yourself. “I am not settling for this life anymore. I want to do……….”

One of the ways that men don’t engage in their hobbies is through fear of what their partners will say about it. One of the best ways to get around this is to be open and honest with your partner. Talk to them about why pursuing this hobby will benefit you both. Mention about how you feel you need to be around other blokes. Or how you need to be alone sometimes and just want to recharge yourself to able to be a better partner.

Write down all the things that you’ve done in the past that make you feel good. Find ways that you can get back into those hobbies. Find a level of commitment that you and your partner are happy for you to commit to. You may well be pleasantly surprised that your partner actually wants you to engage with your mates a bit more. They might actually want you to get a bit fitter and be a bit healthier. They might actually want some space away from you. Who knows? Until you have that conversation you’ll never know. Not rocking the boat and not expressing your own needs and wants. Will not help you and will not help your partner either. See my blog about nice guys finishing last for that one.

As always fella’s any questions fire them over.